I Bet Batman Never Had These Issues
by Ezra Cross
Summary: Gotham is a new kind of animal. Kato has to try and keep his world together when tragedy sends Britt into a tailspin. How can Kato and Batman take down The Joker and keep Britt's newly purchased engagement ring away from girlfriend glenda?read and review
1. Chapter 1

Well, my fans will NOT be disappointed by this one! Sorry for the long wait, but I am finalizing a few chapters on a 500pg book that will soon be available for purchase through borders and Amazon online. YAY! Will keep you updated with that if you wish. So if things take a little while to do, that is why. My GH world had to take a little of a backseat.

I started this book a few months ago and never finished. Now I am quite pleased with it! Thank my fantastic reviewers for the sudden update- getting 26 reviews of my GH books in one morning solidified the need for a new book!

Anyway: on with book 10!

**Green Hornet**

"**I Bet Batman Never Had These Issues"**

**Book 10**

_By, PeechTao_

_I bet Batman never had these issues,_ Kato thought, sitting sulkily in the driver's seat of the Black Beauty. He stared out through the flickering wiper blades. They twitched angrily; annoyed with the sudden change the weather had taken. The Green Hornet was inside meeting with whatever other lowlife could be hashed out of the Gotham underbelly. He was probably attempting to blackmail some public official by now. Or making a big break on the arms case that had dragged Kato out of his nice warm climate of LA all the way to the dank under world of New York. When presented with the idea of Batman interfering with their operations like the caped guy usually did in this city, The Hornet just laughed and said "Bring it on".

Yup, that was Britt all right.

When the two had finished sobering up after their fun weekend with billionaire Bruce Wayne, the trio parted ways. Bruce was planning on heading to the Pacific for an impromptu cruise, Britt was heading to Mexico. Or at least, that's what they said. Britt grabbed his Green Hornet gear and bee-lined for Gotham. He wanted a bigger piece of the gun ring he had broken into while in Los Vegas. Kato was happy to go for the ride.

Little did Kato know he would be hanging in the car the majority of the time.

If there was anything to say about Batman, he was affective. Relatively few of the gun dealers were still importing into Gotham and they had gone deep underground to keep out of the lime light. Regardless, oozies and hollow point incendiary rounds were still being sold onto the streets. In Britt's opinion, Batman needed a hand. That coupled with Reid's insatiably quest for danger fueled the trip across the country. But, Kato also couldn't ignore the fact that Britt's long-time girl friend was in Atlantic City right now. No doubt, this gun ring was a convenient excuse to drop in and say hello.

So, Kato had but to wait outside in the car, follow The Hornet from one seedy bar to the next in search of the one crazy that was taking over the gun trade. They had only one foggy photo to go by and if Kato wasn't mistaken he was little more than a middle-height white guy in a weird outfit. Famous in Gotham it seems.

Kato pounded his head against the steering wheel. God, this was taking forever. Britt must have found something in that last bar. He had yet to show back up, at least not out of the pre-arranged back exit. Few people went in and even fewer were leaving. The ones that did were dead drunk and typically were thrown out. He glanced at the time, almost 4:00am.

He had just about decided to go in after him when at last things began to stir up. Men clad in leather biker gear began pouring out of the bar. Bikes roared to life and taillights streaked across the water drops on the windshield. They smeared as the wipers slid by once then twice. Most of the bikes were Harleys, big ones with all the expensive chrome and trimmings. Most of the men were fat and lazy part time bikers. The others were more devious in appearance. Some guns were drawn, they were firing into the bar.

Since the bar was not up in flames, and the rounds did not appear to be hollow points, and since Kato himself had lined Britt's entire outfit in Kevlar he knew The Hornet could more then take care of himself. Just to make sure he popped his door open and stood over it. He didn't feel like getting wet tonight, but if Britt decided to try and die again it may be important for him to look ready to help.

Well, not help him die, help him not die . . . or . . . yeah, whatever.

While he waited for the inevitable appearance of a smoggy green coat running for the Black Beauty, Kato's eyes drew upward. The bar was set in one back corner of a former forty-four story office building. Now the building was old and dilapidated. It was situated in a part of Gotham known as "The Narrows". The alleys were narrow enough for sure. Out of all the low parts of Gotham, this was the lowest.

After the leather sea disappeared from the entrance, there was a wait six and a half minutes long. Then at last, the shadowy figure appeared in the doorway.

Correction- the wrong shadowy figure.

Holy crap! Its Batman!

Everything slowed in Kato's mind. He saw the caped crusader himself rushing from the entrance straight after him. Kato was slinking into the car. The Black Beauty was already roaring with life. Batman was faster than he ever gave them credit for. As Kato's foot was slamming the gas pedal, Batman was already opening his—back door?

Suddenly Kato's foot slipped to the brake pedal and the car halted with a screech.

Batman was now completely in his back seat with something else beside him.

"Drive!" Batman growled.

Kato flipped around. "What? I'm not driving you—"

Batman's gauntlet wrapped around Kato's throat. "G.E.T. M.O.V.I.N.G." he enunciated every single letter.

Kato was not about to be bullied. The guy could get his own car! Instead, his eyes passed from Batman to the heap beside him. Was it? Could it?

Kato spun in his seat and hammered down the gas pedal. The car roared forward in the slender roadway. It passed the front of the bar and wrapped around the corner of the dilapidated building. That is when the bullets began to rain down from the sky.

Incendiary rounds. Hollow points. The guns that Britt had been tracking from Vegas to New York were being fired from the twenty-third floor. They burst through the roof of the car. The leather seat beside Kato began to smolder. He ducked and wove through the small street in hopes of protecting his beloved engine. Batman was hunched over the folded figure beside him. The crusader was prepared to take a bullet in the back to protect him.

Kato pushed the pedal to the max. It was not long before they escaped the building and were heading for the bridge that separated The Narrows from the rest of Gotham City. The was a lot of silence coming from that back seat. Kato glanced often in the rearview mirror. It was long before he got any answers.

"Do you know where Gotham General is?" Batman asked. He sounded much more deflated then ever in the past. His voice was hollow. Hard. But eerily familiar.

Kato nodded once. He knew the overgrown bat did not need the hospital. The guy next to him did. The twisted up heap of evergreen and domino mask. The bulletproof underground avenger and part time playboy of Los Angeles Britt Reid needed the hospital. Kato could not at all assume to be surprised. Britt often needed a hospital run after their cases. So what if that hospital was designed for dogs? Britt was in some ways a dog too.

"What happened?" Kato demanded. He punched in a few numbers to his steering wheel GPS system. A turn-by-turn LED display pixled its way to life before him. He absently followed its directions.

Batman was not talking. He was hardly moving. His head was angled down, looking at The Hornet's back. With lightning-quick reflexes Kato flipped around, held the steering wheel with his knee, half climbed over the driver's seat, grabbed Batman's chin, flattened the man's cheek with his fist and was back to driving half a second later.

Stunned eyes stabbed at him through the rearview mirror.

"I said WHAT HAPPENED!" Kato roared. "He is my partner you _ni hen jien! _You talk now, or I pop your door at ninety and toss you out!"

Batman's jaw was set, but he seemed to decide that talking now was better than the alternative. And there was no doubt in his mind that Kato was willing to follow through on his threat. "He met up with the new arms dealer. His name is The Joker."

Kato nodded as he listened. They were approximately thirty miles from the hospital. He'd be there in the next five minutes.

"Joker's been terrorizing the city since he got out of Arkum Asylum. I assumed The Green Hornet was here to deal after what I saw in Vegas." Batman looked up at Kato. "What I thought I saw."

Kato stiffened. That meant Batman knew The Green Hornet was a good guy. Did this Joker know too then? What did that mean for the state of Britt's cover in New York? Crap, this was some mess they were in!

"I knew Joker was meeting someone. There have been Green Hornet sightings all over the city. With the meeting set up and the advent of The Green Hornet, I knew they were coming together. My plan was—"

"To take them both out." Kato finished. "I don't care. I want to know what you did to my boss. That is the only thing I care about. What needs to be settled between me and you I will do later in a dark alley with no tool belt or witnesses."

Was that a shadow of fear over the eyes of the Dark Knight himself? Kato ignored it.

"When I came in the bust was already going downhill. I realized at the last moment what The Hornet was doing. That he was drawing The Joker out just as I was in order to send him to jail. Once Joker saw me the jig was up."

Kato remembered the sea of biker's evacuating. That's probably when the shooting started. Or when Batman burst in like a bat out of Hell.

"Joker was armed as per usual. He had no chance. That's when he got shot."

Kato didn't ask who the "he" was. It was Britt and he was sure of it.

"Against those rounds, my armor makes no difference. I did what I could, but I knew I wasn't getting close enough to the guy. When he took off up the flight of stairs, I grabbed Britt and ran out."

Two minutes to the hospital. The poor GPS was struggling to keep itself updated with the speed of the car. Kato flipped its mute button on and made a calculated mental note to upgrade the system to something that could handle high speeds in residential areas. Just as this thought was doing a sprint across his frontal lobe, something else very important was crossing his auditory pathways. A memory, half a memory from some drunk-fused night in the middle of Vegas after a certain arms-dealing poker game came floating back to Kato:

"_He is the guy . . . he's not the guy . . . he is Bruce Lee . . ."_

"Bruce Lee." Kato said. "Bruce—Bruce Wayne? You're Bruce Wayne?"

Batman was silent, but that was the only confirmation Kato needed. He had figured this exact thing out after getting drunk off his skunk back in Vegas. Then he forgot all about it. Bruce Wayne was one of Britt's childhood friends. One of his best friends of all time, almost to the level of Kato himself. No wonder Batman was so eaten up about this. He saw The Green Hornet get shot and somehow realized it was Britt Reid. Maybe he unmasked him, only Britt and Bruce knew.

"Get him out of those clothes." Kato said. "A spare set are under the seats. Take the other set for yourself."

"No need. My butler's meeting me. He'll take care of that." Bruce said. The Batman façade was completely gone. Regardless of the mask, he was all Bruce again. Concerned friend, somewhat spoiled rich guy, and owner of Gotham City.

Kato didn't need to ask about a cover story for Reid. He was sure the minute Bruce realized the identity of his friend he had everything figured out. So Kato just kept driving. They made it to Gotham General fifteen seconds early. At the side of the Hospital, they were met by Bruce's butler, Alfred. A quick change later and the late-night adrenaline junkie was again the day-time-billionaire. Kato had already stowed his own Hornet gear beside Britt's. It was the first opportunity he had to see his friend.

He wished he hadn't.

There was something different this time. Sure Britt had been sort-of poisoned in the past. He had been stabbed, busted up, shot . . . twice? Three times? Stabbed again, half drowned, and those were only the things this sadistic author had done to him.

(XD)

But now he was reaching for his cell phone. Someone had to be told about this. She needed to get there, and fast. This time Britt was in mortal danger.

Kato backed away as he dialed, allowing Bruce and Alfred in to grab his friend around the waist. Britt said nothing. He could say nothing. His head lolled uselessly on a neck that could not support him. There was a gutter slicing through it. How he was still breathing, bleeding, was beyond Kato's thought processes. He was shot. That is what Bruce said. He did not say how many times, or where. Just that he was shot.

With some internal dread, he realized Bruce did not say Britt was still alive either.

It wasn't until Glenda began screaming into the receiver that Kato realized he had called her. He shook his head to clear it and tried to form a voice that was not laced in Mandarin. It was a coping mechanism. When he was stressed, he became more and more foreign by the second. In half a minute, he would be full out Chinese Tong again.

Glenda knew this about him. She had seen it repeatedly from the countless times he had dragged Britt Reid into her veterinary office at all times of the morning. She learned the Mandarin word for "very bad" or "faker" and the entire little curse words muttered under Kato's breath. This time she was lost in translation and that was never a good sign. It meant something awful. So awful, she had to snap Kato out of his country to get the information she needed.

At last, English words began to form. The first was "Bat" followed by "Clown" intermixed with various pronouns and yet more Mandarin.

For the sake of returning him to sanity, Glenda began guessing. _"Kato? All right, are you telling me something happened to Britt?"_

"Yes."

"_Something involving a bat? Does he have broken ribs?" _Broken ribs weren't so bad. She had taped them up herself before.

"No. No, East. East Bat man."

This made no sense to her, but she kept him talking. _"Are you in East Los Angeles? Was it the Black Cranes?"_

Kato did all he could to physically untwist his tongue. "No, we are East. Gotham. East. Batman here, Britt was shot. Need you here. Need you come here. Now."

The line went dead for a long time. Kato pulled his phone away to be sure he hadn't lost the call. "Glenda?" he asked again. "Glenda, are you—"

"_Gotham General? Is that where he's heading?"_

"How you know?" Kato asked, confused.

"I'll be there in a few hours."

"Glenda?"

"Keep him safe, Kato."

"Glenda?"

The phone went dead.

(:):(:)

"Master Kato?"

Kato turned around to see the man introduced as Bruce Wayne's butler. His accent was reminiscent of British society and he carried himself with an air of nobility. At the same time, he felt like the most pleasant of uncles.

"A pleasure to meet you, sir." He said, smiling in a kindly way. "As I am sure you wish to stay with your friend, might I suggest I store your car at Wayne Manor? There it will be far from prying eyes among other vehicles of, shall we say, similar interest?"

Kato looked at the Black Beauty and wondered if the car would behave herself for the older man. "She is lot of muscle." Kato said. "And most of controls are in Chinese."

Alfred shrugged. "Nothing can be more complicated then Master Wayne's tank he decided to bring home one night. Chrysler body?"

"Modified." Kato said with a shrug. This is something that he was good with. Talking about cars. His cars. "Front wheel drive."

Alfred leaned over the hood and tapped one of the panels hiding a machine gun. "Custom pop-up panels. Suicide front doors. Stick?"

"Manual. Otherwise Britt could never figure it out."

A small silence passed between them. Alfred was the one who recovered first.

"Well, as good as I am about driving I have not quite mastered starting a car with my mind." He held out his hand for the key.

Kato did not hesitate handing them over. "Press the middle button." He said, indicating the remote lock, "Keep the cops off you."

"Of course, sir, Master Wayne is taking care of paperwork as we speak. He is on the third floor."

Kato nodded, took one last look at the Black Beauty, and headed inside.

Alfred took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Taking care of one vigilante was hard enough, but three? That was going to take all of his patience. But he would do everything he could to support Bruce and his good friend in their time of need. Why, it seemed like just months ago, Britt Reid and Bruce Wayne were fighting over the same girl, fighting over the same action figure, or fighting over the same bottle. The memories brought a smile to his face. Yes, he would do what he could for this Kato and he would start by relieving his worry about their very conspicuous car. He pressed the middle button on the remote and watched, transfixed, as the car morphed its jet-black color to a pearlescent white.

Alfred grinned. "We may need to make some modifications to the Bat mobile now, I think."

He opened the driver's door and slid inside, taking an instant liking to the fantastic smooth lines of the Beauty's interior. The gauges and switches were indeed all in Mandarin. He did what he could to avoid anything that looked obviously dangers. Meaning, of course, that any label written in red or followed by an exclamation point was heartily avoided. He turned the key, shifted gears, and slid away from the curb. At the first light, he made to turn left. With an automatic action, he flipped the turn signal and found his foot slamming the brake pedal as a rocket blasted out of seemingly nowhere and obliterated the street sign three blocks away. Alfred decided then _not_ to be such a good citizen and stopped signaling his turns all the way back to Wayne Manor.

(:):(:)

Britt Reid was shot by muggers on his way home from a party at his friend Bruce Wayne's home.

Britt Reid was kidnapped by Somali pirates and discarded on the shores of Manhattan island where he was found shot.

Britt Reid was mistaken for a Cuban drug cartel member and attacked by a rival gang.

Britt Reid was . . . .

Kato didn't know. He didn't know what he wanted to say, how he wanted the press editorial to read, or what the title would look like if Britt Reid was dead and not simply maimed beyond all human recognition. He was tired of waiting rooms and the way they made him feel like a goldfish swimming in an old bowl of cheerios (all squishy and out of place).

Standing across from him was Bruce Wayne. He cleaned up nice. Alfred brought him a pinstripe grey suit and fancy white shirt. The entire get up probably cost him a fortune. He had gone to the restroom and slicked his hair back to appear a little more normal or stately. All evidence of what had been Batman was gone.

Kato didn't care. He could dye his hair plaid and walk on all fours for all Kato cared. For some reason he was making Kato mad. Just looking at him. He should have protected Britt. He should have known The Hornet was in disguise. He should have—

Kato stood, his fists were balled at his sides. He wanted to slug Bruce. He wanted to go right up and slam his hand bones all over the rich kid's face.

As if sensing the change in the room's tension, Bruce turned around. Kato's hands were still balled.

"I'm sorry." He said.

This put Kato off a little. He was not looking for an apology. He wanted a fight.

"If I hadn't shown up—" Wayne looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry ok."

His eyes narrowed. "No. It's not ok. My best friend is dying and it is your fault. If anything happens to him, I will kill you."

A flash appeared in his eyes. "You can try." He said sourly.

A form appeared at the doorway. It was only Alfred. It was impossible to hide what the men had been discussing from a man as perceptive as he was. He smiled at them both, laid his coat on the back of a chair and looked at them.

"Well, I am glad to see the two of you have been behaving since I left."

Kato released his fists and sat down.

"Is there anyone I should call for Master Reid?"

It took Kato a little while to think about. He shrugged. "I called his girl. She's in Atlantic City and should be here in a few hours. There's the DA and his secretary. They both know about Britt's secret. We should tell them."

"Secretary should be at the _Sentinel_." Bruce clarified as Alfred extracted his cell phone. "Name is Lenora Case. She can contact DA Parker from there I'm sure."

"Anything special I should be telling Miss Case?"

"The truth." Kato said. "She would understand."

(:):(:)

Britt Reid suffered a sub-dermal hematoma. The bleeding to his brain was enough that emergency surgeons cut a quarter-sized hole in his scalp to allow the pressure on his brain to escape. The gunshot wound to his neck caused third degree burns. The gunshot also caused a hole in his carotid artery. He was rescued from bleeding to death by the bullet that was still lodged there.

He was shot from the left shoulder, to the right chest. From the trajectory the bullet followed, he seemed to have been hunching over when he was shot. He was lucky, the doctors said. He was lucky there was so little damage. He was lucky to be alive.

Kato did not think it was at all lucky. Frankly, he thought it was the worst thing ever to happen to him. He stood over Britt's nearly dead body in the hospital bed and that was all he could think of. How it was not lucky. How Britt should be dead. How he was never going to be the same again. And what was Kato doing the whole time? Sitting in the car.

"He doesn't look as bad as I thought he would." Bruce said, maybe to make Kato feel better.

Kato turned around and slugged him.

Bruce hit the ground just as the room door opened. A woman was standing in the doorway. It was Dr. Glenda Owens, The Green Hornet's personal veterinarian and Britt Reid's long time girlfriend. She was soaked from coat to shoes. They sloshed as she walked into the room and stood over Britt. She looked at Bruce Wayne, still on the floor while nursing his jaw. Then her eyes went to Kato whose fist was bloody.

"What happened?" her voice was surprisingly calm. She set her umbrella down on the chair behind her. "Was it Britt or the tacos that got it?"

Bruce sat up on his palms and starred at Kato. After a while, the man helped him up. The bad blood between them was settled. Now it was time to focus on Glenda and Britt.

"It was The Hornet." Kato said definitively and completely ignoring the taco reference. It was Britt's code word for anything involving "Hornet" business around people who were not part of the Hornet circle. "Don't worry about Bruce Wayne. He knows about Britt as well as anyone."

"What is Britt doing here?" Glenda was still calm, still level.

"He was following up on a guns dealer. The one in Las Vegas he told you about. And he wanted to come see . . . you . . ." Kato trailed at the end. The last thing he wanted Glenda to think was that this was somehow her fault. If she believed Britt was in Gotham for the sole purpose of seeing her, Kato was not sure what she would do. He had seen Glenda at her worst. However, this was different. Something sinister was hiding behind her eyes and Kato would be a black hearted liar if he did not admit it scared him to death to see it.

There was a temporary interruption as the door opened and closed for Alfred. He brought in a cardboard coffee holder with three cups. He instantly offered his own to Glenda though she declined. There was a moment of pleasant introductions then the room went completely silent again.

Glenda was neither shy nor modest now. She wanted answers. "Was Batman involved?" She asked Kato bluntly.

Bruce Wayne answered before any looks could shoot his way. "Yeah. I was."

Kato opened his mouth to say something but it closed again on its own. Alfred cleared his throat and looked intently at his shoes. He never knew Bruce to be so outright blunt about his alter ego. This Britt business had him terribly affected.

"Bruce Wayne is Batman?" Glenda asked, though not with anything reminiscent of surprise in her voice. She was devoid of all emotion. Kato suddenly went white. Something _really_ bad was about to happen.

"That's right." Bruce said coldly. "It's my fault. He was protecting me and got shot."

"Joker?" Glenda asked further.

"Glenda how do you know so much about Gotham?" Kato broke in. He had to interrupt her train of thoughts. He had been scarred of her in the past. Usually she was wielding a scalpel at the time or threatening Britt with a gun. Once she absolutely terrified Kato when she detailed the exact timing mechanism used in a '57 Chevy truck. But this was different. He turned from her death glare to Bruce Wayne where the look was trained. Something bad was _definitely_ about to happen.

"I used to live East." She said to Kato though her eyes never left Bruce. "Remember? My mother was killed by a man in a mask. Two men in masks. One who rigged the car bomb, the other who stood by and did absolutely nothing to stop it."

Bruce stiffened. "The judge."

Glenda moved very little. A flick of her wrist really. Kato scaled the hospital bed. He leaped to her side and reached for her hand. The little derringer rose. She was going to kill him if she could!

"Glenda don't!" Kato shouted.

Bruce tucked his shoulder and fell to the left.

The gun blasted!

In the ensuing flutter of movement, the derringer was wrestled out of Glenda's hand. Kato knelt on the floor with her wrapped in his arms. Bruce was blotting the bloody stripe on his cheek. Alfred was at the room door assuring the nurses that no, they did not hear a gunshot, and that Britt Reid was perfectly well.

Glenda was overwhelmed. She screamed and sobbed and beat against Kato's chest as the tears poured out like a waterfall. Kato just tucked his head and took the abuse. He deserved it for abandoning Britt. He deserved every bit of anger she had welling against him. But Bruce earned it too.

For ten minutes they sat there listening to Glenda howl. None of them had the heart to shut her up. What else was there to do but sit and watch? Eventually she let Kato out of her chokehold. She sat alone against the side of Britt's hospital bed. She held his hand in hers and hiccupped against it.

Britt's eyes never fluttered.

_(:):(:)_

"_It's gotta be big, like Princess Diana big. But Not Kim Kardashian big. Maybe I should do something simple. But if it's too simple, I look like a cheapskate. Oooh, that's pretty! Do you think she'll like that? Is it too small? I think it's too small."_

_Kato stood by the jewelry case and looked inside with Britt. Neither of them knew the first thing about ring shopping. Let alone wedding ring shopping. Frankly the entire idea was beginning to sicken Kato just a little bit. Did this mean that Glenda was going to be moving in soon? What would happen to The Hornet? Could there still be a masked vigilante who was married? Kato's entire bachelorhood was flashing before his eyes. _

"_What about that one?"_

"_You pointed that one out twice!" Kato said. "You must like it at least a little."_

_Britt smiled. "Yeah. I guess so. Hey, miss? Can I see that one?" Britt pointed at a sterling silver band encrusted with forty-five diamonds and topped with one 15-carat spherical rock. _

_The jeweler approached, dressed completely in black like a diamond ninja. She bent waaaaaay down to reach into the case, showing off the excellently manicured (and store-bought) chest property shoved inter her v-neck top. "A fantastic choice!" she giggled. "Wow, you are a rich one, huh?" she shook her little chest and scrunched her little nose but Britt was not biting._

_Kato kinda was. He leaned over the table and smiled at her. He wiggled his eyebrows. "Hey baby. You know, I am his chauffer, and—"_

_Her face scrunched an entirely different way at Kato. She flipped him a one-finger salute and disappeared around the corner with her tight little butt._

_Kato grinned. "You know, I think she liked me."_

_Britt wasn't even paying attention. "Uh huh. Sure. Do you think this is too shiny?"_

_Kato rolled his eyes. "She is a girl. Nothing for a girl is too shiny."_

"_But is it too much? She has her fingers up dogs' butts most of the day. I don't want Elvis biting my ankles at home out of revenge." At this thought, Britt bent down and roughed up Elvis's wrinkled little head. The pug grunted and groaned and coughed out his excitement. "Wight my wiwle Elwis? Wight? Can't have wiwle spiky fingers up you wiwle as—"_

"_What about that one?" Kato indicated with a finger._

_Britt looked into the case again, ignoring the three million dollar number sitting out already. He leaned over the glass and looked down to where Kato was pointing. _

"_Oh my God, bro—that's perfect!" Britt's voice was barely a whisper. The pick-up jeweler came over again and switched the rings. Britt picked it up and took a good look. It was a princess cut diamond, two and a half carats. The prongs that held the diamond up were encrusted in smaller circular diamonds. On either side of the center stone were half carat princess cut diamonds. Diamonds circled half the band on the outside and the inside was not smooth, rather it was covered in little arches. At each point where the arch met the main ring, there was another little circular diamond. _

_Britt held the ring up, then slipped it on his finger as far as it would go. He starred at it against his hairy knuckle then displayed it for Kato. "What do you think? Does it look like Glenda?"_

"_I think it is very nice." Kato said._

_Britt looked exasperated. "Awe, come on, Hiyashi!" _

_Kato smiled. Britt only called him Hiyashi, his true first name, when he was serious about something. _

"_This is a decision that will change both our lives, no all three of our lives! If she doesn't like it you, me, little Elvis, we are all out of a veterinarian! We've been dating almost three years, Hiyashi, if I don't say something now, she's going to go looking for a ring someplace else. You know what they say, the three-year itch."_

"_I thought it was the seven year itch." Kato said._

"_That's just the thing, Hollywood turned it into the three year itch! Now suckers like us have to seal the deal quicker or else we're out in the cold! Come on, man, what do you think?" Britt held the ring up, still on his pinky finger, and wiggled it next to his face. "Do I look pretty?"_

_Kato couldn't help laughing out loud. "Yeah, ok, you look pretty. Now stop acting gay and buy the ring, ok? You are embarrassing me in front of the ladies."_

_Britt looked around, aware on the opposite sex for the first time in nearly three hours of ring shopping. "Dude, you're right, we should totally get their opinion."_

"_That is not what I said!" Kato exclaimed._

"_Come on, that one looks like Glenda, let's get her to try it out—"_

"_Britt!"_

_Britt smiled at him and rushed the crowed of girls with the ring still on his hand._

_Kato looked down at Elvis and sighed. "You and me are in the dog house again, huh?" he said to the pug._

_Elvis took in one gasping breath, sneezed, coughed, and ran after a Chihuahua hanging around Britt's ankles._

"_Traitor!" Kato yelled at him. _

(:):(:)

"_If Glenda finds it on me she'll know."_

"_You got to hold onto it for me, till I'm ready to ask her."_

"_I'll go see her, right after this job in Gotham."_

"_Hey Hiyashi?"_

"_Thanks."_

(:):(:)

Kato swallowed back his emotions. He was sitting on the little ledge outside Britt's hospital window. There was a little cluster of people below him, about four floors away. Some hospital employees on a smoking break probably hoping he was going to jump so they could see some action.

Kato held a blue velvet ring box in his hands. He turned it over a few times. He snapped it open and closed on its hinges until they began to squeak. The ring was as nice as the day Britt and he picked it out. Reid never did get to Atlantic City to ask Glenda to marry him. They never made it through the mission. Kato wondered if Britt was ever going to be able to ask her.

He guessed that didn't really matter right now. What mattered was hiding the ring. Holding it for Britt. He was the ring bearer after all. That's what guys like Kato did.

"_Hey Hiyashi?"_

"_Thanks."_

Kato bit his lip as his chest heaved a little. This time three tears slipped out. He ran his sleeve over them quickly before they had a chance to see moonlight.

Someone below him was egging him to jump. Someone else told them to shut up.

It had only taken Kato five days of sitting around and doing nothing to figure out how to pry the window open. Now he could break in after visiting hours were over and hang out with his friend. The Wayne Manor was nice, but it wasn't home. Nothing was home without his brother in it.

"There you are."

Kato turned a little in the cramped window space. Bruce was behind him. Kato vaguely wondered how he got in after visiting hours, but then he remembered that Wayne was in control of ¼ of the United States income. That had its perks.

"Thought I'd find Glenda here to. She around?" he asked.

Kato looked surprised. He shook his head. "She isn't at the Wayne house?"

Now Bruce became all edges. A physical transformation occurred. He turned from sleek and slack to puffed out, tense, and chiseled. "Kato, I haven't seen her since yesterday morning. I drove her here, you drove her home."

Kato angled his feet and suddenly he was standing in the room again. A collective sigh of discontent arose from the men below waiting for him to jump. "I did not drive her home. She was not here when I came yesterday."

"That's impossible; I walked her here, to this room, myself. Where could she have gone?"

"Does she have a gun?" Kato asked.

"I don't have any she could get to or even use. Do you still have the derringer she came with?"

"It's with our gear, in the trunk of the—" Kato suddenly headed for the door. Bruce was hot on his heels. They made it down to the parking garage in no time. Kato popped the latch of the disguised Black Beauty and routed under the hidden floor mats.

"Oh my God." Bruce whispered.

"His spare suit." Kato said.

"Where could she have gone?"

Kato looked around, as if somehow Glenda may appear from the dark parking garage dressed as The Hornet. "I do not know. She lived in this city before. She said two people were responsible for killing her mother. I figured you were one."

"Batman was one." Bruce clarified, though it was hard to make the distinction then. The only thing he was missing was the black suit. "Her mother was a judge. The only judge in all of Gotham brave enough to try the gang leaders of the city. The Joker planted a car bomb and the minute she went into protective custody she was killed."

"The Joker planted the bomb." Kato repeated to himself.

"And it was my fault he did it. If I came out as Batman, she would not be dead now. Glenda blames me for that, I'm sure."

"Well if you are not dead and she went off with The Hornet Gear, then we know exactly where she is."

"I'll call Alfred.

* * *

><p>i'm making this a two-parter just because it is longer. please head right on to chapter 2!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Green Hornet**

"**I Bet Batman Never Had These Issues"**

**Book 10**

**Part 2**

_By, PeechTao_

For someone like The Green Hornet, moving about the city unchallenged was easy. His reputation preceded him. The underlings of society knew he had been shot by The Joker, killed by The Joker, and somehow was still alive. Like a phantom, the waters parted for him. He was officially untouchable.

Glenda knew she could use this status to her advantage. Someone as devious as The Joker does not like to lose, come in second place, or simply to miss an opportunity. Word was going to get out that The Hornet was alive and well and she had but to wait for Joker to come right to her.

It took two days of being out on the lam before she had her first major breakthrough. She was hanging out in the shadowy booth of a squalid bar a few blocks away from where Britt was shot. If Joker was in this part of town willingly once, he was almost guaranteed to show up again. She would be there waiting.

The Hornet Gun was at her waist. She had made some practice shots with it in the hotel room she rented for the night before. She could probably shoot better with it then Britt could. He was never very good at aiming. Then there was The Hornet Sting, the electromagnetic tool of Kato's creation. That packed a bigger punch. She had only three chances to practice with it until the superintendent told her to quit the racket. Lastly she had her derringer. It was simple and petite but two shots deadly. After practicing with The Hornet Gun she was sure this would cause her little trouble.

The plan was simple. Get another audience with Joker, knock him out, and kill him.

Three steps.

The bar was getting busy. Hairy, smelly men were packed from one side of the bar counter to the other. A four-foot invisible barrier existed around the booth The Hornet occupied. Gotham was a superstitious town full of thickheaded residents. If they believed The Green Hornet was a ghost here to wreak havoc, and then let them. It only kept them out of Glenda's way. She had a job to do.

It was towards the early morning, three-o-clock if the wall clock busted by bear bottles was to be trusted. Glenda didn't dare reach for her cell phone. A figure entered the room. He was tall, slim, and young. Nothing like what The Joker appeared to be. He was a follower, though, telling from the pants dyed purple and the green-checkered shirt. Then again, the clown mask over his head was also a dead ringer.

The clown looked over the heads of the bar goers before locating the abandoned corner with The Hornet sitting alone. He went instantly in her direction.

Glenda steeled herself.

This was her time to shine.

The clown ignored the invisible barrier circumnavigating the booth and sat right down across from The Hornet. He draped one long arm across the back of the ratty bench seat. The other arm lay on the table just half a foot away. He gave all the bodily appearance of being at total ease, but Glenda saw something no one else did.

His hands were shaking.

"So, Hornet, you're alive."

"Where's your boss." Glenda growled. She had practiced that to, trying to get her voice to sound as gravelly as possible.

"New mask?" the clown asked. He laced his fingers down his chin as if he were stroking a long, invisible beard.

"Getting shot in the neck ain't as pretty as it sounds." Glenda said. She wore Britt's domino mask all right, but a black bandana covered her feminine jaw line. She painted Britt's Hornet symbol over it in green.

"That's the truth." The clown said, chuckling. "He wondered how you survived that. Everyone's telling him about The Hornet phantom come back to life to haunt him."

Glenda leaned over the table. "I came back to life all right. And I am here to haunt him." She pulled out The Hornet Sting and set it on the table between them but out of the clown's reach. Suddenly he took his hand off the back of the chair and pressed his back away from her.

"You tell The Joker to meet me. I got something that might interest him."

"Yeah?" the clown said, suddenly the confidence was all gone.

"Yeah." She pulled the trigger on the weapon. A sub-sonic pulse shot out of the gun and shattered ten glasses of beer in a row. Their contents exploded, their owners screamed. A stampeded ensued.

Glenda was calm, calculated. This was all part of the plan. She retracted The Hornet Sting and hid it in her great coat. "Tell The Joker to meet me. It's his last chance before I start to feel I'm being stood up."

The clown grinned a little. "Su—sure. I'll tell him just that." He stood and headed into the throng beating against the bar doors.

(:):(:)

"_You are being irrational. We will always be Shong-di, Kato. You are my best man, my number one, the guy that made me a guy."_

_Kato grinned. "You are sounding gay again."_

_Britt flashed him a suggestive smile and batted his eyes lashes. "Why? Are you liking it?"_

_Kato chuckled and slammed his head into the steering wheel at the same time. The horn went off, just a little, making the Black Beauty squeak._

"_Ohmygosh, the Beauty just farted. Did you hear it? Uh, it sounded wet to—man!"_

_Now Kato was laughing, slapping his leg. "Shut up! I can't even had a serious minute with you. God, Britt."_

"_But this is serious!" Reid insisted. He was putting on his domino mask, shrugging into his vest and jacket. "This clearly means we cannot run the Black Beauty on beans. I mean really, there is a flamethrower on the front of this thing. We could all die."_

_Kato shoved Britt into the window but all the while couldn't stop laughing. "Britt, getting married is a big thing! You do not want your bachelor chillin' all up in your bighouse with your woman."_

_Britt was silent as he looked at his friend. Then: "Kato did you just go all Ghetto on me? If there is one thing I can ever ask of you, it is to never do that again. I mean, singing Puff Daddy, or P-Wiggy or whatever-the-hell his name is one thing. Chillin' is a word that should never escape a Chinese-accented mouth again. Agreed?"_

_Kato cocked a smile. "Sure."_

"_Good. Second, yeah, some things are going to change. But, Kato, you aren't going to be a bachelor forever either. I know how you looked at that chick your evil older bro is with. I mean that is straight up damsel in distress waiting to happen. You help me land Glenda, then we will totally nail your crazy Thong bro and take his girl! It's like, frickin' spoils of war."_

_Kato thought of that girl for a moment and couldn't wipe the grin in his mind or the turn his thoughts were taking—_

"_Ok, now get your head in the game you pervert." Britt said. He was ready in his Hornet gear. They were outside the biker bar in the Narrows. "Something big is gonna happen here, I just know it. Hang out for a little bit, first sign of trouble come running it and back me up."_

"_Sure, Britt." Kato said._

_Britt punched his arm lightly. "Hey, Shong-di, right, Hiyashi?"_

"_Yeah, Shong-di, Britt."_

(:):(:)

Batman dropped from the night behind the bumper of the supped up Chrysler hardtop. He flew forward and was in the passenger seat in the span of seconds.

"What did you find out?" Batman asked.

"The Green Hornet was here yesterday looking for The Joker." Kato said. "He was wearing something new, a bandana around his face under his mask. He had all Britt's gear though."

Batman nodded. "Same thing on the West side. Green Hornet sightings all over. The latest was a few hours ago, at a bar. She stung half a bar table of beer glasses. Contact says one of Joker's men was there too. "

"You think she already made contact?" Kato said, his voice raising.

"I think we have to get to the sight of the Gotham tunnel to find out." Batman said. "I picked up on one of the clowns. Sounded like he was heading there."

Kato shifted the car into drive and the Black Beauty sliced out into the night. It was a slim lead, but what else did they have? He should think about putting trackers into Britt's clothes. But what if the Cops picked up on them? GPS? That was something to think of for the future. Right now, he had to rely on Batman's knowledge of the city and the gear he used to patrol it. Otherwise, Glenda was as good as dead.

(:):(:)

The laugh made her knew she was in the right place. That laugh before anything else. It pierced the air with rotting menace. It went to every fear that swarmed her heart. It reminded her of the day the marshals came into her home and put her mother into protective custody. It reminded her of the Gotham Times photos of the explosion that killed her. It reminded her of everything she left Gotham for.

Her cold resolution was hidden behind the veil of Britt's mask and her bandana. Just the smell of his coat brought her strength and resolution. It was as if he enveloped her. She drew on his strength. She was resolute. This was her day that she was taking away from The Joker.

And if she didn't live threw it. It was one Hell of a good day to die.

"If it isn't the green insect. Tell me, how's dead been?" The Joker asked. He was like a dog on crack. He could not stop moving, stop gyrating. His body swayed even as he stood still. His fingers twitched. His green hair was flat with grease and rainwater but he tossed his head as if to move it around. He ran his fingerless gloves threw it, smoothing it back. His white makeup was cracking and melting. His red lips drew watery lines down his chin.

"Better if I had company." The Hornet said.

"So," The Joker replied, he held up a thick, dull blade and scratched his forehead with it. "I hear from some incompetent sources you have some . . ." he waved his arm around, trying to drawl a word out of the air. "Some toy you think I may be interested in. Is that it?"

"Only you call them toys. I call them assets."

The Joker shrugged. "Syntax. I was always slightly dyslexic. And psychotic."

The Hornet flashed the gleaming Hornet Sting at him.

Joker's eyes widened with jealousy. "Ooooh, juicy little toy." He looked from it, to The Hornet. "Is this the part where you negotiate, and I say it's too high, and you say best offer? Or is this just the part where I shoot you and steal what I want?"

It was hard, but Glenda never flinched. "Actually, I have a better negotiation for you."

Clowns were nothing if not curious creatures.

While holding The Sting out for him to grab, Glenda's other pocketed hand had been aiming the derringer. Forget the intermediary of the gas gun. She was just going to kill him. "I'm going to give you something better than this."

Still curious, The Joker reached for it. "Better, huh? Is it a bullet to my brain? Cause the lobotomist tried something a little similar to that, actually."

On cue, The Joker's henchmen raised their guns. Glenda may not make it out alive. But The Joker wasn't going anywhere. This was her day, not his. She was going to pay him back for what he did to Britt and her mother. He was too dangerous for handcuffs. Besides, sometimes The Green Hornet needed to do bad things to retain his bad boy image.

She squeezed the trigger and cursed away the consequences.

(:):(:)

"_Joker. Can't figure out where that name came from." The Hornet said. A grin played along his lips. He trailed one thumb across his face from left to right. "Like the scars. They hand made?"_

"_Somebody's hand." The Joker said vaguely. He stayed around the outskirts of the room and overlooked the city. "Long way for a fan to travel. Isn't your roost on a different coast?"_

_The Hornet folded his arms and leaned on one of the metal support beams. "That's thinking small. I thought you were bigger than that. Trouble is, I was getting my weapons from this little Chinese arms dealer in Beijing. With all the Las Vegas heat from that guns bust, my coast is off limits to trafficking. I need another supplier."_

_The Joker turned away from the window and smiled. "Really? And what made you think of little old me? I am a rather modest psychopath. I only commit the random mass murder every now and then."_

"_I ran into one of your flunkies in Vegas. That and Batman."_

_The Joker's left eye twitched. "Ah, yes, the bat."_

"_Said to look you up. Before I shot him of course. Could you believe he tried to muscle in on me? No loyalties." The Hornet sighed as if they were discussing the most trivial thing in the world. _

"_In that case, I think we can strike an accord. That is if you stay on your side of this silly spinning ball. Can't have too many freaks of my caliber in one city." The Joker laughed maniacally. Britt had to keep himself from cringing. Now that the deal was struck, it would be no problem to introduce Kato into the mix and overthrow this painted freak. Britt moved toward the window, meaning to signal out for the Black Beauty. _

"_My associate can take me to the gun harbor. He'll detail what exactly we are looking for. I don't commit stuff like that to memory. To many other important details to think about."_

"_Mystery solved. Hornets have brains, albeit of limited capacity."_

_Britt let the insult slip. "Yeah, something like that."_

_The window burst inward before he reached it. Suddenly the black-caped crusader was in the midst of the room and he was full of hell-bent fury! _

_**CRAP**__! Britt thought. This guy was everywhere he did not need to be. Right on the cusp of a major undertaking and he was going to lose all his hard work because some freak dressed like a bat went window jumping!_

_Suddenly The Joker pulled a gun. And not just __**A**__ gun. A big handgun somehow had been shimmied down the leg of his pants like a hoagie in a movie theater. The barrel on the sucker was perhaps a solid four inches around and two feet long. Britt did not need to be told the sort of bullets in the barrel he could just as easily guess. They were giant hollow point incendiary rounds. _

_Right now that gun was trained on Batman and Britt knew there was nothing in the guy's arsenal that could block the shot quick enough. Britt did the only thing that came naturally to him. He jumped into the path of the bullet and crouched down. _

_The first shot burst across his back and made his chest hitch and burn. There was a shuffle of movement. The sound of a gun cocking. A second bullet entered his neck a few seconds after the first. With their combined momentum, Batman and The Green Hornet both fell forward and hit the floor tiles. _

_The Joker laughed as he ran for the stairs._

_Batman shrugged The Hornet off of him. He flipped Britt over to survey the damage._

"_You idiot!" he was shouting. "Why did you do that?" He pulled The Hornet to his face by the lapels of his jacket. "Why!"_

_The Hornet coughed, a trail of blood leaked from his lips. "I . . ." he wheezed, "I know . . . ah . . . you . . ."_

_Batman started back in surprise. "What?"_

"_Bru—ce? Re . . ." he coughed again, pulling at his mask with a hand. _

_Batman ripped it off his face. _

"_Oh My God."_

"_Re—id."_

"_Britt?"_

_Britt coughed again and lay still. _

"_BRITT!"_

_(:):(:)_

"It's the Bat! Fire! Kill it!"

"Fire!"

"Shoot, somebody!"

The tunnel erupted in gunfire. Batman and Kato had been ready for it. They split along the walls and ran left, then right and allowed the fire to ping around them uselessly. Kato knew his job. He was going for Glenda, or The Green Hornet. She was in the center of the tunnel a foot away from another bleeding form. That one belonged to The Joker.

_She did it, _He thought.

Kato flipped and spun around. He came down, heel first on two clowns then turned on a dime into three others. He swung one by the arm and released, allowing him to careen like a bowling ball into another group. Gunfire became jumbled. Men were cut to ribbons in the chaos.

On the opposite side of the tunnel, Batman was making short work of his group of Henchmen. Leaderless they were uncoordinated, more likely to shoot each other and scatter then stand up to a fight regardless it was two against thirty.

Batman and Kato met in the middle at nearly the same time. The clowns were running down the tunnels blindly. They fired and missed as they began their retreat but left the arsenal behind for Batman to clean up. So much for the gun business.

Kato leaned down to Glenda, pulling her into his arms.

Batman stood over The Joker and looked at him seriously. He looked dead enough.

"Bruce."

Batman looked over to Kato, then to Glenda in his arms.

Kato pulled the bandana away.

What was Britt going to say?

(:):(:)

"So, Glenda, I came to see you today because I have something very special I want to ask you. Now, you don't have to say anything right away, just, hear me out ok?"

Britt took a deep breath to steady himself. He pulled at the gauze around his neck. He swore they were getting tighter! He was on one knee in the grass, his face looking dead into her marble eyes.

"I came to Gotham for one reason, to chase The Joker. But I came to the East Coast for you. That is the only reason. I had a question to ask you and it's something that would change both of our lives.

"Glenda Owens, you are the only woman that was more than boobs and butt to me. I can't say I fell in love with you on our first date because technically Kato was dating you and you did kick me in the nuts."

He laughed a little. He dug into his pocket and fished out the ring box Kato had given back to him. Britt flipped open the lid and held the ring out.

"I have loved you more than any woman in my double life. It would mean the world to me if you would take this ring and be with me forever."

Britt's eyes began to tear up. He wiped them with the back of his hands. He reached out and stroked the beautiful marble face. Then he leaned forward, pressed his lips between her gorgeous green eyes, and set the ring down in the grass. Britt stood, his hands deep in his pockets as he looked down at the grave by his feet.

"Goodbye Glenda the good witch. I love you."

Britt tucked his head and moved away. Up the alley of the cemetery, Kato was leaning against the front of the Black Beauty. He saw Britt approaching and stood at attention. He even walked a little closer.

"So?" he asked. "How did it go?"

Britt wanted to smile but he couldn't manage it. "I had to change a few of the words."

"But you asked?"

Britt nodded. He headed to the passenger side of the car, pulled Bruce Wayne out of it, deposited his friend in the back seat, and got in the front himself. Kato got into the driver's side and drove the car down the sinews of the cemetery road.

The mood was quiet and somber. Bruce leaned forward beside his friend. He patted his shoulder. "Did she say yes?"

Britt looked out the window, trying to catch the last glimpse of the gravestone before it was gone.

"Yeah." He said. "She did."

* * *

><p>I killed her! Lol, muhahahahaha! Sorry, I am a killer, so it was bound to happen. I do love Glenda and I may do some pre-death books in the future, but this was just so perfect I had to go with it:) sorry Casey and BJ weren't bigger parts in this story, but something had to give. look for them in the future, though.<p>

Thanks so much for reading! PLEASE REVIEW!

_ni hen jien: mandarin, close as I could to saying "You Jerk" but a little dirtier than that._


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